WOW! You have been through a lot! First things first - your husband is getting the care he needs and that is what is important.
Now let's break this down:
Mortgages - check with NACA to see what can be done about them
Taxes - here is some information from the IRS that may be helpful - however, if you can consult with an attorney for FREE, I would do so....
social services - APPLY NOW! - you are working 20 hours per week and supporting 2 people - you may qualify for services from them
other organizations such as catholic charities, st vincent de paul, red cross or other nonprofits in your area may be able to assist with utility assistance and replacing your water heater... You can check the links on my home page or with 211